


Escalation

by Ashratherose



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Accident, M/M, Misunderstandings, Self Harm, drunken incident, trigger warning self harm, who let Yuri have champagne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:50:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8801467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: When Victor finds Yuri bleeding with a broken champagne bottle next to him he gets caught in the "what ifs" of the situation.





	1. Chapter 1

Barcelona had come and gone and Yuri hadn't won gold.

He'd struggled so hard, only to lose by the barer of margins. Victor had held him close as he'd sobbed. He'd apologised over and over but Yuri wouldn't listen. He was in his own world of pain.

He'd guided Yuri back to the hotel where he'd promptly collapsed. Victor had been at a loss of what to do for him.

The relationship they been building for so long, the promise on the gold rings, everything was crumbling away.

Yuri had taught him more about life and love than he'd known was possible. Every time life had kicked him in the guts Yuri had still gotten up, but this time Victor wondered if he'd able to again.

Watching Yuri crying and clutching at his pillow Victor didn't know what to do. He'd tried to lay his hand on Yuri's arm, to let him know he was there but all Yuri had flinched away as if his touch had burnt.

So now Victor was left wondering what to do, while trying to prepare for the banquet.

Victor had been half watching Yuri that night out of pity. But as the night had gone on Yuri had come to life. His energy and drunken happiness had been infectious. 

Victor couldn't believe that Yuri had forgotten the whole night. He was sure Yuri had just been trying to his his shame by never mentioning it. But then he got to know Yuri and it became clear that the younger man truly didn't remember it at all.

He hadn't expected to fall for Yuri. Since the age of 7 he'd lived for skating, everything else fell short. He'd played the lover and the friend but with no real feelings in it. He was stuck rotting, until Yuri had jump started his stagnant heart.

*  
Stepping out the room, Victor wondered if he should call Phichit, but that might only rub salt into the wound. It wasn't like Yuri hadn't placed podium, in fact he'd come second to Phichits 4th. Although he didn't know Phichit that well, Yuri had already told him that Phichit was the only international skate he considered a friend... but that's why his finger couldn't press the dial button.

Yuri was already asleep by the time he stepped back in.

He'd never felt this exhausted over anything.

Flopping down on the bed he only intended to close his eyes for a second.

Instead he was awoken to the angry buzzing of his phone.   
32 missed calls from Chris.  
15 from Yurio.  
And lastly 6 calls from Yuuko.

It was that which concerned him. Surely she'd be calling to congratulate Yuri so why not just ring him?  
Rolling over Victor realised that Yuri wasn't in his bed anymore. His phone laid discarded next to the pillow. For a moment Victor had a bad feeling until he realised he could hear the running of water from the rooms ensuite.

He took it as a sign Yuri was feeling better, well at least well enough to shower. So he took the time to scroll though his news feed.

The skating world was buzzing. The story of Yuri and the rings seemed to be making its rounds, expand upon and speculation ever growing.

He'd been so certain Yuri would win. Even if the remark about them being engagement rings had only been a half joke he realised that he truly couldn't live without the man.

Victor frowned. He'd realised Yuri had been in the shower for over half an hour. 

Knocking on the door it swung open effortlessly. He frowned Yuri wasn't the type to just leave the door open.

His phone fell from his hand and time stood still.

There was so much blood.

Victor couldn't tell if it's been an accident or intentionally done. He prayed to god it's hadn't been the latter.

Yuri was slumped against the bathroom cabinet. Blood pouring from his right arm. A smashed bottle of champagne lay next to him. 

Rushing to Yuri's side he looked down at the wound. It was nasty and deep running from his wrist up to just short of his elbow. 

He tried to feel around find is phone before realising he'd dropped it before. Stripping his shirt he wrapped it tight around the wound.  
"Yuri... Yuri..."  
He looked at Yuri's lips they'd started to turn slightly blue and his skin was almost completely drained of colour.

"Yuri!" He was starting to panic now. Yuri had already lost way to much blood, it was natural for his body to already be shutting down.

Victors fingers shook as he reached out to touch Yuri's chest, hoping to feel the gentle rise and fall, or hell even better the beat of his heart.

He held his breath in fear. It seemed forever before he felt it. He hadn't realised he started crying.   
Crawling back across the bathroom floor he retrieved his phone with shaking fingers. 

The woman on the other end of the line spoke confidently. She assured him there was help coming and talked to him trying to reassure him and prompting him gently about Yuri's condition. 

It still felt like forever and a day before the paramedics actually knocked on the door. Victor scolded himself. Every second was crucial with a major bleed like this, he should have at least thought to open the door.

Standing there awkwardly he watched the paramedics bind the wound. He wished his Spanish skills were better, he had no idea what happened. 

They weren't going to let Victor come, in the end it was the matching rings that finally pushed the matter. They seemed to think it meant they were lovers at least. To most of the world wearing a ring on the right side meant you have a lover. 

*  
Victor remembered very little of the hospital trip. And he'd been forced to wait in the waiting room while Yuri was taken straight through.

Calling Mari he filled her in on Yuri's accident. She and Minako were already on the way before the call even ended. Victor wished Yuri could see how much he was loved.

*  
He was still stuck waiting when the two women finally arrived.

Minako had immediately pulled him in for a hug and it wasn't until she pulled away Victor realised he was covered in Yuri's blood. It had rubbed off on her, not that she cared.

*  
They were forced to wait another 2 hours for news.  
Yuri was in a serous but stable condition. His blood had been thinned by the alcohol in his system, that's why he'd bled so much.

The three of them were allowed a brief visit. Literally enough time to see his pale almost lifeless looking form, before being ushered out.

The girls wanted to stay with him, insisting he shouldn't be alone but Victor had politely refused, as Yuri's coach there would be things he'd need to take care of officially, though he promised he'd call later and check in. He knew the girls were mad at him but they still let him leave.

*  
Arriving back at the hotel room Victor felt lost. None of this felt real.

The hotel cleaning staff had already cleaned the mess away and the room stank of bleach. Even though it was gone he could still see it. He could still see Yuri slumped there. 

He looked down at the gold band around his finger. It seemed so long ago now.

When Yuri had purchased the first one Victors body had moved on instinct. Before he even knew what he was doing he'd brought the matching one. It hadn't even been his intention but he hated the idea of someone else buying it.   
Of someone else wearing it.  
Someone not Yuri wearing it.

And now Yuri was in hospital and ring was stained with blood.

Suddenly his skin started it itch and panic started to set in. Stripping off he lunged into the shower, not caring that the water was too hot. He needed Yuri's blood off him. He needed to be released from the burden of it. His tears flowed freely as he scrubbed his skin raw. All the "what if's" played over and over in his head.

He tried to scold himself and tell himself it was an accident. All the broken glass had been bloodied, it didn't mean that Yuri had taken a piece and done this deliberately.

Silver was still amazing and it wasn't like Victor was just going to up and leave. He'd already told Yuri he wished he'd never retire, they could always try again next year... as long as Yuri was alive. The image of Yuri flashed through his mind again and he slumped down into his knees. This wasn't fair.

Yuri had taught him love, how to enjoy life, he wasn't supposed to teach him how a heart breaks.

*  
Victor spent a miserable night drifting in and out of sleep, it seemed every time he'd finally start to fall asleep all he could see was Yuri.   
In the end he gave up. Laying there he stared at the ceiling and couldn't help wonder if staying in a hotel room had always been this lonely. He missed Yuri.

*  
Mari and Minako picked him up the next day. Minako had already called the hospital and Yuri was ok to have visitors.

Arriving at the hospital Victor hung back, he suddenly wasn't sure if seeing Yuri was such a good plan. What if it had been on purpose and it was all his fault. He'd been so tempted to bolt but Minako had taken his arm and the three of them were headed to Yuri's room before he knew what was happening.

Mari charged in first. Victor could see Yuri flinch at the sight of his sister and tugged at the blankets nervously.

Mari immediately launched into a lecture that made even Victor shrink back. He knew she was coming from a place of love, but damn she was scary.

Minako paid Mari no mind and pushed past her to give Yuri a hug.

Yuri seemed ok to talk to both the girls but wouldn't meet Victors eyes. It infuriated him.

Mari was the one who picked up on it, hastily she excused both herself and Minako leaving the two men to finally talk.

As soon as the girls were out of the room Yuri slumped back against the pillows as if he had no energy at all. Victor said nothing, instead he sat down in the spare visitor chair and waited.

Yuri had closed his eyes and Victor had realised the ring was gone from his finger. He didn't know what to make of it and he didn't like it.

"Yuri... what happened...?"   
Victor could see Yuri stiffen. A flash of guilt passed over his face. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked toward Victor, before offering a weak smile.

"You were fast asleep when I woke up and I didn't want to wake you. I'd ordered champagne to share with you but I guess I started without you. I'd planned to take a shower... but I kind of slipped"  
Yuri forced what Victor took to be his attempt at an embarrassed smile.   
"What happened to your ring?"  
Yuri's hand shook as he raised it. The motion obviously uncomfortable and more than likely pulling on his stitches  
"They took it off... I don't know when... it was gone when I woke up..."  
Yuri let the sentence drop.  
"I'll ask about it when I leave ok?"  
Yuri nodded in agreement, before one again closing his eyes. Victor took the hint and promised to visit again later.

*  
He'd stopped in at the nurses station on the way out. Mari had listed him as family so the nurse released Yuri's personal effects to him.

As soon as he'd gotten back to the room he'd torn through bag until he'd found the ring. Like his had been yesterday Yuri's was caked with blood. He looked over the bloodied mess of Yuri's clothes and binned the lot. 

Walking into the bathroom he proceeded to clean the ring gently in the sink. He hated to admit it but he was almost certain Yuri had lied about what had happened in the bathroom. To take silver and still want to kill yourself... Victor felt he'd driven him to this.

Stalking back he through himself down on the bed. Reaching for the receiver he phoned the lobby and ordered the most expensive vodka they had. He needed something to stop him from thinking.

When the vodka finally arrived Victor remembered he hadn't eaten since lunch with Yuri yesterday. He felt like he should care but he didn't. He couldn't even be bothered with locking the door.

Forgoing the glass of ice he chose to drink it straight. 

There he was Victor Nikiforov! Curled up in bed staring at a gold ring and drinking vodka like a teenage girl who'd just been dumped. The worsening of his mood only led to the whole bottle being gone before he knew it.

His body shook with the sobs he hadn't even realised he was releasing. 

*  
This was how Chris found him 2 hours later. Still laying in bed.  
Still staring at the same gold band.  
Still crying.

Not one for emotional comfort Chris had been at a loss of what to say or do. He opted for the mature approach and called for back up. His idea of back up being Yakov.

When Yakov walked in Victor tensed. Chris immediately made himself scarce. He wasn't getting scolded because Victor was falling apart. Although he had to admit he was torn. Yuri's things were still there, but Yuri wasn't and he was sure he'd seen Yuri's ring on the bed. 

Victor didn't move as Yakov sat down. He didn't even acknowledge the man. He couldn't take his eyes off the metal band.

"Where's Yuri?"  
Victor bit his lip.  
"Vitya"  
"He's in hospital. He slipped and smashed a champagne bottle..."  
Yakov huffed  
Victor curled up tighter.  
"Vitya... if it was that you wouldn't be like this..."  
"Any other time you'd be playing at coach and by his side... you've always done what you wanted... what makes this so different?"  
"He doesn't want me there..."  
"That wouldn't usually stop you"  
Again Yakov huffed. He was too old for this shit.  
"Vitya"  
Yakov snapped at him and Victor finally uncurled enough to sit up.  
Yakov could tell his hadn't slept or eaten and huffed again in disgust.  
"This is why you shouldn't have played at being a coach, you can't even look after yourself"  
Yakov stalked across the room, pausing at the door to give Victor one last chance.  
He'd nearly missed it as he stepped out  
"Is that why Yuri tried to kill himself?"


	2. 2

Yakov stopped. He was to old for this.   
"Didn't you say it was an accident?"  
Victor looked up at him, begging him to understand  
"That's what he said..."  
"Then why don't you believe him?"

Victor sighed. Yakov knew that the pairs relationship was beyond that of skater and coach.  
"Vitya... this would all be easier if you asked him yourself. So clean your act up and go talk to him"

It had been a while since he'd seen Victor like this and knew he needed a dose of tough love or he'd be stuck on this all night.

He finally stepped out and let the door swing closed behind him.

*  
Yuri was forced to stay in hospital for another 2 days, he was allowed to fly back and would have his stitches removed in Japan.

When he was anyone else he was fine, joking and laughing about his own clumsiness. But to Victor he never saw the smile reach his eyes.

Victor was convinced Yuri knew he was the only one he wasn't fooling.

The distance between them only seemed to spread.

*  
Yuri was sleeping on the plane, his face scrunched up and his breaths shallow. Victor reached over placing his hand against Yuri forehead. It was clear that he had the onset of a fever.

Sliding from his seat Victor sought out Yuri's bag from the overhead compartment. Sifting through he found out the antibiotic tablets and some pain killers. Hopefully they would easy Yuri's suffering.

Tracking down the flight attendant he asked for some water and fruit. Yuri probably wouldn't want to eat but he was supposed to eat before the tablets.

As Victor shook him awake it was hard to miss the way Yuri shrunk away from him. Holding his tongue Victor passed him the apple and painkillers. Yuri got the message. He didn't speak as he ate, nor after he'd downed the pills. Instead he closed his eyes.

Victor hated this. How long was Yuri going to keep up this act.

*  
It was now a week since they returned to Japan. Yuri still hadn't asked for the gold ring back and Victor was frustrated.

Even though they had never properly confessed their feelings Victor had thought there relationship had been a strong one.

Apparently not.

Almost as soon as they'd settled back into life Yuri was pestering him about his plans.

Victor had told him he wanted to coach him for the next season, that he'd been proud of Yuri even though he hadn't won gold. He'd even gone as far as to thank Yuri for everything he'd taught him.

Yuri on the other hand seemed disbelieving and kept asking when he'd be leaving for Russia.

*  
As the days rolled by Victor started noticing small little changes in Yuri that had him concerned. The season was over but Yuri was always up practicing. He knew Yuri didn't want to retire and was trying to process everything but still, it wasn't just that.

Yuri would come down every morning limping, obviously favouring his left leg. When Victor had called him out on it Yuri had claimed he'd slept funny because of the pain in his arm. Again Victor knew he was lying.

Yuri had also stopped using the outdoor baths, instead he'd wait until he thought everyone else was asleep before showering.

*  
Victor tried talking to Mari about it. She'd been concerned about him for awhile now too. She knew Yuri loved Victor and had seen the way he'd started pushing the Russian away, but Yuri was Yuri, he'd talk when he was ready.

*  
Victor hadn't meant to be eves dropping, he really hadn't. He'd gotten up to get a drink and heard Yuri's voice. He couldn't stop himself from listening in

It sounded like Yuri was on the phone to Phichit. It was only a guess but the relaxed tone in his voice showed it was someone he trusted.

So Victor listened.

He listened to Yuri lie.  
He listened to Yuri's fake laugh.  
He listened as Yuri told Phichit that Victor would be leaving soon as he had no reason to stay.

He felt physically ill. Yuri didn't want him.

*  
When Yuri left to practice Victor packed. Being here wasn't getting anything sorted, he was heading back to Russia.

He already thanked Yuri's family and asked them to look after Makkachin while he was gone. His intention had to be leave for 2 weeks, hoping his absence would help Yuri sort his head out.

In the end Yuri didn't even come home that night and Victor left without getting a chance to say goodbye. 

*  
The two weeks had passed at a snails pace. Victor had come to realise there was no place here for him anymore.

He must have sent Yuri a hundred messages only to get no reply.

He wondered if Yuri was finally ready to open up and was looking forward to seeing him again. Even with Yuri's past mood and the continual forcefulness of his rejection Victor still longed to see him.

He wanted to take that step. To officiate their relationship. 

*  
When Victor arrived at the airport Minako was there to greet him. Her eyes were red and puffy and she was in clear distress.

Victors blood ran cold. 

He tried to get her to open up and talk but she insisted it was something he had to see for himself.

*  
He was confused as to why he was at the hospital.

Tears slid down Minako's face as they walked down the corridor. Victor felt like he was in a nightmare. He feared what would lay in front of him when they reached the room.

Minako opened the door and ushered Victor in. 

Yuri was laying there, so still, so peaceful. The only noise in the room was the steady thum tis of the ventilator.

Walking over she pushed back the bangs from Yuri's face.   
"They wanted to wait for you. It's what Yuri would have wanted"

Panic was setting in. Victor didn't understand.  
"They found him a few days after you'd left. He'd said he was tired and went up to his room. By the time they found him the damage was already done"

Victor shook his head.  
"He's already braindead. The doctors wanted to turn the ventilators off last week but they wouldn't until you had a chance to see him... he love you Victor. I'd never seen him as happy as he'd been with you..."

Minako shifted back and pulled down the blanket until the tops of Yuri's thighs were showing. Victor flinched at the sight of the right one.

The top had been cut open over and over. Though they'd started to heal you could clearly see which ones were older than others.

"Mari said you'd been worried about his behaviour, she blames herself for not listening. We all knew he was disappointed with silver but hoped that having you would help... tell me was Barcelona really an accident?"

Victors throat was as dry as his face wet.  
He tried to find the words, instead all he could do was look at Yuri's face.

Minako moved away from Yuri, coming over she slapped Victor across the face. She'd finally broken  
"You knew! You fucking knew! Why didn't you tell us! Why..."  
She dissolved into sobs, hanging onto Victors shirt like it was her last lifeline.

Victor wanted to breakdown.   
He wanted to scream.  
He wanted to hurt.  
He wanted to fall to his knees and cry.  
He wanted to wake up.

Instead he couldn't move.  
Minako screamed at him calling him a coward. Telling him to do something but when he didn't reply she left. He was still standing there as her running footsteps faded away.

He didn't know how long he stood there. 

But finally he moved.

Sinking down on the edge of Yuri's bed he laid his head against Yuri's chest. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Before Yuri his life had been so focused on skating.  
Yuri had shown him the world in a whole new way.  
He'd been proud of Yuri winning silver. Just as proud of him, as he would have been it had been gold. How did an amazing young man like Yuri wind up like this.

Fishing into his pocket he pulled out Yuri's matching ring. He couldn't bare to part with it, so he'd kept it on him since Barcelona.  
Lifting up Yuri's right hand he slid it onto Yuri's ring finger.

He'd loved him before they even exchanged rings in the cathedral. Victor knew that Yuri hadn't understood the significance behind placing a ring on the right hand, but secretly Victor hoped on day he would.  
One day their love would have been accepted.

Rising up he pressed a kiss to Yuri's cold lips.  
"If I could have married anyone in this life, it would have been you every time"

*  
Social media was filled with the sob story of the skater who died so young. Over and over they stressed how he'd had his whole life ahead of him. How great he'd skated. So much talent.

Victor wished they'd been this kind when Yuri was still alive. 

*  
They'd asked Victor to stay. They'd told him they didn't blame him. But he still left.  
That day he severed all ties with skating.


End file.
